Reporting to the Catflap Cavalier

Dearest and Bestest Aunty Freya
I nose it has been sum time since my last report butt fings ain't being going too good on the Mr P. Gin eradication  irradiation front

I have discovered, after extensive researches that Dad has been feeding them!

Bowl of P. Gin foodables as prepared by Dad

I have employed various techniques, learnt at the Police Academy,

Stake out

I keeps a very close eye on the birdie table

Bagging and Tagging Evidences

I apprehend the bits of bread they fling around

 but so far haven't managed to bag any

('cos I accidentally scoff it *cough*)

Pursuit and Arrest

By chasing across the patio at speed

So far I've only managed to capture the odd feather

(Which the peeps always confiscate!)

 Having failed to apprehend any of the Feathery Felons at ground level

I thought I'd take to the air!

That'll shock 'em outta their nest! (HeHe)

  

But sum Busy Body called Lizzie told

'elf and Safety and I got turfed out!

So Aunty Freya, I have nothing to report but failures 

and a rather pretty hanging basket!

Loves and licky kisses

Princess Leah  

Very Junior Police Officer

xxx

Dear young Princess Leah.

I've been undercover on a big stake out at the beach, all very 'ush, 'ush if you nose what I mean.

The reason why I haven't been around for a while, I am pleased to 'ear your new report. 

 It's been 'ard going cos I've 'ad to dig me own beach holes to hide in.

​It's been a very big and long stake out.

Big stake outs need bigger beach holes.
​

Luckily I managed to find time for lunch. 

Wow, you really do have a problem if Dad is feeding Mr P.Gin.
The next fing to 'appen is that Dad will be taking Mr P.Gin out for lunch.

I fink you should keep more of a beady eye on Dad when you nose Dad is out in YOUR garden. 

I am totally wiv you on the bagging and tagging stuffs. No good eatables being in a bag cos eatables don't last long.

If you bag and tag, you may as well carry it in your tummy. It makes life easier. It free's up your paws. I won't tell, if you don't. I have exactly the same technique.

​Feathers around your beak, nose, that's not good at all cos all feathers are fluffy and they make you sneeze. Leave the feathers, maybe P.Gin will come back for them when he starts to get cold.
If you want me to nip over to your place and dig a few holes for you to help wiv your stake out, let me nose and I'll be straight over. 

I'm on meeting and greeting duty tomorrow so can't nip over then, but I have some spare time on Sunday. 

Luvs your loving Auntie Freya Rose Blossom (miss) X

p.s. Are you sure that hanging basket has no bugs, maybe you should go and check ?